Saturday, November 06, 2004
Hi World Here I Am
Hmm, well now that I have started this thing its almost hard to know where to start. Lets see, I suppose I will set up a profile later and make this next part irrelevant but some background is in order. Lets see I'm 29, male, married with one child and one step-child. Strongly suspect wife is having an affair and marriage is going sour either way, also might have multiple sclerosis. But lets start at the beginning.
March, wife comes home after going out to get junk food. Eats quickly and leaves to go to college she has a big presentation next day. Wife not home at midnight, finally arrives at 12:30am. Says she was at "Dan's" place studying. Oops. Dan was looking for her at 930 on msn messenger...so where were you wife? Oh I was actually at coffee with "steve" from work. So why lie?
This goes on and I am transformed magically into paranoidjealousman! With my spandex suit and underwear worn on the outside I can poison anyone's mind. Oh and the cape...never forget the cape.
Wife starts coming home from work late..finishes shift and doesn't get home for two hours or more...cellphone always turned off. Lots more things which seem too petty to mention here but what it adds up to is me becoming convinced that something is going on.
I'm not going to bother pretending I am the perfect husband and that I have never done anything wrong. We've both had online affairs and we've both put too little effort into the marriage. I probably reap what I have sown but that doesn't mean I have to like it does it? *insert petulant little pouty face here*.
We start counselling and after a session or two I state that I have dropped the notion of her affair. My reasoning is this; I will never know for certain, if she truly wants to go have an affair there is nothing I can do to stop her and in the end the "distance" between the two of us is more important anyway.
July. July I go to the doctor because of increasing headaches. I had a stroke back in 1998 and so headaches make me nervous...nothing like a three day coma to make you nervous about a headache! These headaches turn out to be a sinus infection but doc sends me to a neurologist for a check-up anyway.
Neurologist does a bunch of reflex tests and then proceeds to tell me he thinks I might have MS (multiple sclerosis for those who dont know). Have to say, hands down the best way to ruin someone's day. So shocked I don't even bother telling wife until that evening. Don't know what I think about it myself and was so shocked I didn't even bother asking nasty neurologist questions so how can I explain it to wife?
Nasty neurologist (NN) says he is going to send me for an MRI but that has a 4mnth waiting list. (smart people reading this will be asking why the hell he decided to say I might have MS if there is a 4mnth wait list for the test that will tell us.) So I sit and I wait for 4mnths real fun stuff really.
October - had MRI. DEFINATELY the best 45 mins I ever spent in a tube which sounds like a jack-hammer. Saw brain, now no-one can say I don't have one, still have to wait two weeks for results though.
Thats the basic background, I'll flesh it out later.
March, wife comes home after going out to get junk food. Eats quickly and leaves to go to college she has a big presentation next day. Wife not home at midnight, finally arrives at 12:30am. Says she was at "Dan's" place studying. Oops. Dan was looking for her at 930 on msn messenger...so where were you wife? Oh I was actually at coffee with "steve" from work. So why lie?
This goes on and I am transformed magically into paranoidjealousman! With my spandex suit and underwear worn on the outside I can poison anyone's mind. Oh and the cape...never forget the cape.
Wife starts coming home from work late..finishes shift and doesn't get home for two hours or more...cellphone always turned off. Lots more things which seem too petty to mention here but what it adds up to is me becoming convinced that something is going on.
I'm not going to bother pretending I am the perfect husband and that I have never done anything wrong. We've both had online affairs and we've both put too little effort into the marriage. I probably reap what I have sown but that doesn't mean I have to like it does it? *insert petulant little pouty face here*.
We start counselling and after a session or two I state that I have dropped the notion of her affair. My reasoning is this; I will never know for certain, if she truly wants to go have an affair there is nothing I can do to stop her and in the end the "distance" between the two of us is more important anyway.
July. July I go to the doctor because of increasing headaches. I had a stroke back in 1998 and so headaches make me nervous...nothing like a three day coma to make you nervous about a headache! These headaches turn out to be a sinus infection but doc sends me to a neurologist for a check-up anyway.
Neurologist does a bunch of reflex tests and then proceeds to tell me he thinks I might have MS (multiple sclerosis for those who dont know). Have to say, hands down the best way to ruin someone's day. So shocked I don't even bother telling wife until that evening. Don't know what I think about it myself and was so shocked I didn't even bother asking nasty neurologist questions so how can I explain it to wife?
Nasty neurologist (NN) says he is going to send me for an MRI but that has a 4mnth waiting list. (smart people reading this will be asking why the hell he decided to say I might have MS if there is a 4mnth wait list for the test that will tell us.) So I sit and I wait for 4mnths real fun stuff really.
October - had MRI. DEFINATELY the best 45 mins I ever spent in a tube which sounds like a jack-hammer. Saw brain, now no-one can say I don't have one, still have to wait two weeks for results though.
Thats the basic background, I'll flesh it out later.
posted by Friedmind at 11:05 PM
0 Comments:
A very warped (almost) daily diary of my life and the hurdles I face dealing with my (possible) multiple sclerosis and my failing marriage. Those without a sarcastic sense of humour may need a translator.
About Me
- Name: FriedMind
- Location: Friedsville, empty province, Canada
sheesh now if I have to explain myself then why bother reading the blog? Try and figure me out from the deranged writings, good luck! I haven't figured myself out yet so if you manage to do it then send me an email because I could use some pointers.
links
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