I am soooo tired. I don't know if I just need more sleep or if this is a potential symptom. I am going to feel like the world's biggest hyperchondriac if Nasty Neurologist tells me on Monday that I don't have MS. Have to say I will obviously be happy but also will then be wondering what the heck is going on with me then? Maybe pins and needles are Carpal Tunnel...that would be nice. This is a weird place to be mentally. I dont want to seem like I am seeking attention but at the same time I want people to understand that I feel like crap and am an emotional train wreck too.

Wife is in city of Farfaraway right now. Was half-expecting her to call and let me know she got there ok. She hasn't called and I have made a pact with myself not to call her. I want her to take this week to decide what she really wants. This hasn't been discussed too openly but I think we both know that is what this week is really for...not to go see old friend's new baby, although I am sure that is a plus.

For me if I do have this disease then I have the additional problem of not wanting her to feel obligated to me. If she would honestly rather be with someone else, or just single then I would rather she do that then feel she has to stay with me just because I am going to get sicker. I'd rather be alone and deal with it than have someone with me who doesn't want to be. And to anyone reading this who is in that situation...trust me we can tell.

Well that was a rather vomit inspiring entry....look forward to something more upbeat soon.